
Okay, friends, letâs rewind to when TikTok was Public Enemy Number One. Remember that? Politicians clutching pearls over the "existential threat" of choreographed dance routines? We were told that letting teenagers lip-sync to Doja Cat might bring the whole country crumbling down. But buckle up.
Tomorrow, Trump struts back into the Oval Office, and his very first executive order? Itâs not about ending wars, fixing inflation, or saving us from climate disasters. Nope. Itâs about TikTok. Yep, TikTok. The same app he tried to ban in 2020 is now getting the presidential seal of approval.
Why, you ask? Because the algorithm, once deemed a 'national security threat,' suddenly became his bestie during the election. The irony is so rich, I could use a martiniâdirty, with blue cheeseâstuffed olivesâto wash it down.
Now, letâs set the scene: Beijing is probably hosting a watch party for this circus. Imagine itâofficials sipping boba, laughing their asses off. They didnât even have to write the script for this one. America spends years freaking out about TikTok, finally bans it, and now weâre begging to bring it back because a few well-placed hashtags got some votes. If thatâs not a masterclass in geopolitical trolling, I donât know what is.
Oh, and get this: Trumpâs reportedly itching to make one of his first state visits toâyou guessed itâChina. Thatâs right, folks, heâs ready to roll out the red carpet and give Xi Jinping a standing ovation. If the 2025 global stage were a reality show, Beijing just won the season.
Meanwhile, letâs not forget the actual crises weâre juggling: wars, sky-high rent, melting ice caps, and an economy thatâs flirting with disaster. But hey, at least weâll have TikTok back!!!