Glenderful's Shit List: Will Sharpe

Let's get one thing straight: I don't chase. I attract. I manifest. And today, the universe slid into my DMs with an upload of Will. Freaking. Sharpe. Straight into my eyeballs, my psyche, my mouth—idc, idc, he’s here.

If you know, you know. And if you don’t? Your about to be blessed.

My canon event was The White Lotus S2. I was a skeptic, okay? Thought it was overhyped. But then… Sicily. The mess. The cinematography serving c*nt in every frame. And then Will Sharpe enters the villa as Ethan and my soul left my body. My Aperol Spritz? Trembling. My first thought: "Wait, is he Asian?" My second: "Why is he allowed to be this hot??" The math wasn't mathing, it was manifesting.

He’s that East-West fusion you didn’t know you needed. Japanese mom, British dad, childhood in Tokyo and London. It gives you everything: that understated cool, a wit so sharp it could slice through capicola, and a brooding mystery that promises very, very bad decisions.

The CV? Wrote and directed Black Pond (BAFTA-nominated, but who's counting). Created the unhinged masterpiece Flowers. But Ethan in Lotus? Let's talk about the body that broke the internet.

He’s not giving "gym bro." He’s giving "wiry elegance." Long lines, a smooth chest, abs that look like he absentmindedly sculpted them while thinking about Kafka. Those shoulders? That V-taper? It’s a physique that looks even better in motion—wet, glistening, and dangerous—than it ever could in a static gym selfie. It's not just sex appeal; it's sex posture.

Now. The. Shower. Scenes.

BABY. The steam. The suds. The water tracing a path down that torso like it’s trying to win a Golden Globe. And that towel scene? The frustrated, solo mission? The internet didn't just lose its mind; it had a full-system reboot. Who knew "awkward self-love" could be the cultural reset of the decade?

And the Sicilian beach moments? Will in board shorts, the saltwater making his skin glisten, the fabric clinging for dear life. The finale walk with Meghann Fahy? The sexual tension was thicker than nonna’s pasta sauce. Did they? Didn’t they? At this point, it’s not about the plot—it’s about the vibe.

My one grievance: A man this visually illegal should NEVER be relegated to DIY unless it’s by choice. Justice for Ethan's libido! I said what I said.

Flash forward to Too Much on Netflix. He was the entire highlight. Brooding, magnetic, giving us everything. Will is that rare multi-hyphenate who doesn't just play the part—he is the entire production.

And of course, I stalked his foodie takes because a hot guy's appetite is my final form of kryptonite.

Daily Diet: Japanese. (Sashimi, please and thank you. 🍣)

Favorite Pasta: Tagliatelle. His words: “like a big ribbon… you can still twirl it like spaghetti, but it’s sort of chunky.”

(PLEASE use your imagination. I certainly am.)

Cooking Skills: Self-admittedly mid. Hopefully, I'll be the judge of that someday. 😉

During the Lotus press run, he kept it real: “I’d still have pasta if I wanted pasta.” WILL. EAT. THE. DAMN. PASTA.

And maybe it's just me, but his vibe? It screams ✨digestive health✨. I can just tell this is a man who prioritizes fiber. In an interview, he casually dropped, “Bananas are quite good, aren’t they?”

GIVING. MANIA!!!!!!!

Will Sharpe isn't just a talent. He's a walking thirst trap wrapped in a enigma, dipped in brilliance. Japanese-British. Writer-Director-Actor. He’s giving us layers. He’s giving us fantasy. He’s giving me an insatiable appetite! RAWR.

So, Will, welcome to the most exclusive list there is.

Welcome to the Sh*t List, Will Sharpe!