Glenderful's Shit List: Mike Shouhed

Okay, universe, I see you. You slid into my DMs with a sign I couldn’t ignore – a certain Persian bad boy popping off on my timeline, and let’s just say the vibes were immaculate. The universe isn’t just moaning, honey—it’s screaming. So let’s welcome the absolute chaos demon that is Mike Shouhed to the Shit List. Manifestation? Completed!

Let’s be so for real: Mike was the only reason to suffer through the hot-mess-express that was Shahs of Sunset. Was he problematic? Absolutely. Do I care? Not even a little. I like my men like I like my Persian tea: strong, a little bitter, and capable of leaving a stain. A little rough house action? That’s not a red flag, baby, that’s a qualification.

The Mike Shouhed Dossier – No Notes.

This man is a walking, talking red flag you can’t help but green-light. Born in Tehran and raised in the trenches of the American dream, he’s giving full villain origin story. He’s of pure, unapologetic main character energy in a US size 10 shoe that’s probably kicked down a few doors.

He’s health-conscious, but let’s be clear—this isn’t wellness. This is weaponized fitness. This man works out like he’s got a vendetta, staying sculpted and camera-ready because the drama could pop off at any moment. The diet is probably lean protein, complex carbs, and a side of pure, unadulterated audacity. Roar!

The BDE is Real.

Mike’s reputation isn’t built on being a good boy. It’s built on being a bad one—with charm, with passion, with a rap sheet of heated flings and public showdowns that are honestly kind of iconic. He’s the guy your mom warned you about, and that’s exactly why he’s on the list. He’s tried to soften, to rebrand, but that edge? It’s still there, sharp enough to draw blood. And we’re here for it.

And can we talk about the cuisine for a second? Persian food is the Silk Road on a plate—all saffron, fire-grilled kebabs, and yogurt that’s probably teaming with probiotics. I bet Mike’s gut health is immaculate. He’s serving ancient flavors and modern drama. It’s giving mania. It’s giving main character. It’s giving gas.

So welcome, Mike. You’re chaotic, you’re resilient, you’re unapologetically you. You’ve survived the mess and came out the other side still fine as hell. The Shit List is now officially a party.

Now, who’s got his number? Glenderful's got needs, and I’m starving.