Glenderful's Shit List: Mark Consuelos

Life's this wild, tangled fuckfest of an expedition straight into the brambled wilderness of your own soul, right? We're all out here chasing those elusive "wins"—peak gains, god-tier strength, or that ride-or-die bae who makes your pulse throb. But nah, we keep confusing experiments (those boring data dumps, yes/no bullshit) with real exploration: plunging balls-deep into the unknown, no map, just raw vibes, courage, and that wide-open vulnerability begging to be filled. The payoff? Epic discoveries, hidden gems that make you ache, and leveling up your self-game in ways that leave you breathless. Pure revelation, no cap—that's the throbbing energy behind Glenderful's Shit List: our unhinged roster of daddies we're dying to "serve" as a premium thrones, faces buried in their heat, tongues tracing every ridge. Without the fluff, let's drop the latest addition that's got me dripping: MARK CONSUELOS! 😍

First off, shoutout to Kelly Ripa—queen, icon, we stan hard. No cap, I'm not tryna yeet Mark from your squad or steal him away. Just wanna borrow him for a quick, sweaty sesh now and then, and absorb that energy till we're both spent. Nah, just kidding... or am I? 😉

This man's built like a vintage Hollywood fuckboy dream—think Cary Grant or Gregory Peck, but crank it to 2025 heat, where masculinity isn't some performative clownery but inhabited, raw and profane, the kind that makes your thighs clench. No filters, no desperate thirst traps for likes; it's that natural confidence, like a panther in a drip suit, stalking you with a smile that's sheathed in restraint but promising to devour.

That smile isn't an invitation—it's a fucking threat. A sharp, knowing slash of a grin that says he's already three steps ahead of your dirtiest fantasy. His tongue teases behind pearled teeth, the light catching his mouth like it's whispering all the things he'd do to you. It's not friendly. It's ownership.

And his body? At 54, he's a monument. Not some plastic-surgery reality star, but a goddamn masterpiece of lived-in power. Shoulders built to pin you, a torso carved from granite, every vein and ab a road map to ruin. His Instagram is a shrine to sweat-sheened skin—morning light catching the hollow of his throat, shadows carving out obliques you want to bite. He doesn't just pose; he looms. A lesson in holy profanity.

Then there are the tattoos. That skeleton on his bicep—a sombrero-wearing outlaw with a pocket watch counting down to your undoing, a revolver cocked backward like a challenge. It's Día de los Muertos meets pure filth. Tribal ink curls around his shoulder like smoke from a fire he started. Under studio lights, every line gleams—stories of hunger etched into skin that heats under your gaze.

Mark isn't just a man on your screen. He's a storm waiting to break. A smile that cuts, a body that commands, ink that confesses. He's been claimed by his own skin—and he's ready to claim you right back.Quick origin story: Born March 30, 1971, in Zaragoza, Spain, to an Italian mom and Mexican dad. Fam bounced to Illinois, then Florida, where he leveled up into the camera bait that now has us all throbbing.

Career glow-up: Splashed as Mateo Santos on All My Children (Daytime Emmy nom, duh), slayed as Hiram Lodge on Riverdale, now co-hosting Live with Kelly & Mark—snagged that Emmy for Outstanding Entertainment Talk Show Host with the squad.

Deets we crave: Shoe size? Kelly once spilled it's "monstrous," so yeah, he fills 'em out with that big-dick energy that promises more. Off-camera? Hits sprints, bodyweight circuits, dawn cardio that leaves him glistening and primed. Obsessed with classic cars and the thrill of role-prep, the kind that builds tension till it snaps.

Diet game strong: Keto/high-protein boss mode—veggies, lean steaks, yogurt, fiber fixes to keep him shredded, fueled, and ready to devour. I'm starving just vibing on it, but hungrier for him! 🍗🥦

Mark's got that ultimate daddy energy—confident, polished, platinum grin that makes you kneel. A man at ease in his throne, but begging to be served on ours. If anyone's earning a spot where we unlock every hunger, it's him. Welcome to Glenderful's Shit List, Mark!