Glenderful's Shit List: Andy Roddick

Alright fam, listen up—Glenderful’s Shit List isn’t about those soft-boi vibes or teddy bear energy. Nah, this is the bad boy hall of fame. We’re talking edge, heat, and mania that makes you say, “Whew, okay, I’m weak.” So who better to serve this edition than the original tennis titan whose serve wasn’t just fire—it was a full-on inferno: Andy Roddick!

Like, have you seen those arms? The kind of muscle that’s not flexing but just exists to steal hearts and break rackets. And that smirk? Honey, that smirk doesn't just say “I’m dominating on court,” it screams it off court too—like he’s winning life as hard as the game. Andy’s serving up that boss energy and, no cap, has been acing his way right to the top of this list since day one. We NEED a replay, stat.

The Deets (Because You Know I'm About The Facts)

• Full name: Andrew Stephen Roddick

• Born: August 30, 1982, Omaha, Nebraska

• Roots: Raised partly in Austin, Texas, then went big time training in Florida

• Height: 6’2” (tall king energy)

• Shoe Size: Reportedly rocking a US 12 (would pay $$$ to smell the inside of his shoes after a match)

Career Flex (Legacy Status: Legendary)

• World No. 1 for 13 weeks and year-end No. 1 in 2003—yeah, he doesn’t just show up, he shows out

• 32 ATP singles titles, including FIVE Masters 1000 wins

• That iconic 2003 US Open Grand Slam? That’s his crown jewel

• Four other major final appearances, always giving us the purest suspense

• Leading Team USA to victory in Davis Cup 2007? Absolute GOAT move

• Hall of Fame inducted in 2017, because of course

The Bad Boy Vibe (On and Off Court)

Andy wasn’t just playing tennis—he was flexing raw attitude. Aggressive on the courts, pushing limits, sometimes getting salty with umps—like, he’s real, not some manufactured star. That swagger? It was loud, proud, and a little bit gritty. The kind of energy that makes you wanna say, “Yeah, bring that drama, I’m here for it.” He doesn't need to ask permission.

What’s the Tea Post-Tennis?

Even after stepping off the tour, Andy keeps it 100. Podcast host with “Served”—he’s dissecting tennis and dropping wisdom like it’s hot. I am OBSESSED with his voice! Business moves? Check. Philanthropy? Double check. Still lowkey killing the game in style and purpose, proving legends don’t fade—they glow up.

Roddick’s Body Is a Straight-Up Crime Scene

Forget the gym—Andy Roddick’s form is a felony waiting to happen. We’re talking a chiseled god sculpted from sweat, spite, and zero mercy. Those thighs? Thick as tree trunks, built to crush souls (and egos). Arms like coiled pythons, ready to pin you down and make you beg for mercy. But that ass? Jesus take the wheel—it's a weaponized peach, firm and filthy, the kind that clenches tighter than a bad breakup. Squeezed into those pristine white shorts? Not a tease, darling—a full-on assault. One glimpse, and you're wrecked, scrolling for salvation. This man doesn't play; he preys. Who's surviving that serve? 😈🍑

Diet Drama? Nah, It’s Savage Fuel for the Fuckery

In beast mode, Andy’s chowing lean and lethal—grilled chicken that screams "discipline," greens that mock your salad regrets, and proteins so pure they’d make kale weep. But spill the real tea: cheat days? He devours 'em like forbidden fruit—crunchy chips dipped in sinful salsa, tacos that hit harder than his forehand. Water guzzled like it's going extinct, carbs clocked in like a heist, and sashimi sliced sharp enough to draw blood. Post-retirement? It's all "fuck it, balance"—a splash of indulgence without the crash. His leftovers? I'd fight a raccoon for a bite. Who's joining the raid? Tag a friend who's weak for winners. #RoddickRuin #ThirstTrapTennis #AssLikeThatExists

Andy Roddick on Glenderful’s Shit List? A no-brainer. Still vibing, still hot, and always serving. Can we PLEASE get a rematch on that smirk and those arms? Because honestly, I’m here for ALL of it. #KingEnergy #TennisGOAT #AceTheList