2026 is looming like a bad hookup you can't shake, and I need everyone to STOP with the New Year's resolutions already. That little voice whispering "This year will be different"? Honey, it's the same delulu bitch that ghosts you by February when the gym's emptier than a straight bar on Pride night. Clock it: research literally drags that nearly 80% of those vows flop by Valentine's Day , because a resolution is just one hungover January decision you're supposed to ride for 3